im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
it was like his penis was on wheels.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We're too hungover to prance.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
