I think my fart just growled at me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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