i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
