My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
