singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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