She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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