Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
