She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
40s are totally the cure
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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