nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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