don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
