My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
