do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
