Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
