I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
