Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
