How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
