I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
