You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
