I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
