He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
