my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
