Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
