I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
