Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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