Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
