I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
