I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
