Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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