I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
