It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize