Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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