Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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