Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
