jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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