All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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