I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
