maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i've created a new STD.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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