You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
