i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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