You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
