Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
