Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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