oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
