i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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