Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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