ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im drinking this country out of the recession.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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