you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
