so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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