id be glad to
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He called his prostate his "boner button".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize