well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
