Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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