I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
