We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
