drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
