That's intense
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
