Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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