What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
