I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
