You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
