I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize