i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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