Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
