I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
