I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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