She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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