I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
