I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
handjob tips. give me some.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
