he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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